Many a times when I was confronted on something I wanted to do that my parents didn’t approve of… I would get to hear ‘you will realize when you have your own children’… ‘we did so much for you… so that you disobey us like this?’…
Today I indeed have my child… a daughter… and am waiting for her to grow up, be independent and decide things for herself… I really am… not sure if I will confront her on things which I don’t approve of… not sure how will this mother-daughter relationship evolve over time…
But what I am aware of today is... this relationship is and will continue to be of give and take… parents do take pains, make compromises in bringing up their children… I am seeing myself make them… but don’t children make sacrifices while being brought up?… Today I say no to atleast 50% of what my daughter wants to do… be it eating junk food, playing long hours with friends, breaking every possible thing that she lays hands on… maybe because I think its not right/good for her… haven’t asked her what she thinks though…
As kids do they ever have a say in anything at all? They eat what we give them, they wear what we want them to, they live where we make them to, they speak the language we want them to... think, talk, read all as per our command… and through this shapes their personality… all under our influence…
In the process of ‘disciplining’ them, we tend to scold them… scare them with something frightful, at times raise our hands on them… and the justification is simple… “they do not understand what is good or bad for them”… sure !! when these same children grow up and ‘understand’ what is good and bad… they develop their own outlook towards the world… which over the years has been molded by many ingredients most important being family, teachers, friends… and when they don’t approve of what their parents do or say, they do retort back… rightfully so… isn’t this a simple give and take?...
As a parent I am prepared for this reciprocation… prepared to help my child be a strong determined individual… most importantly, respect her independence… and at the same time, rejoice my deliverance…