Just a piece of your core....
Dear Aai,This is going to surprise you for sure… You have said multiple times before ‘Children post such beautiful messages on Facebook for their mothers on Mothers day or on their birthdays ... so good they are to read.. so wonderful the mothers must be feeling”… and today as you can see a plethora of such messages on FB and whatsapp, and I am sure yet again you would be thinking the same, wanting to see a message dedicated specially to you… you know your daughter is a little far from expressing her deepest feelings in public spaces… such expressions are largely reserved for her personal diaries… but what the heck… let me pour some of it here, on my blog which is a reflection of my feeling and knowing you, you might just get this printed to keep in your personal diary, and read it sometimes when you sit to write your next poem in that diary… so let me make the most of this piece of paper and that too in a simpler English (that’s what you ask of me)…
Now what I am actually struggling is where to start from… you know everything that is on my mind, you know my feelings, you know my fears, my fantasies, my flaws, you know my frailty, my forte, you know my fulcrum, infact you are the one who created it… so whatever I say here, you would already know… still let me make an attempt to say something different… Aai, if there is one word that describes what you are to me, I would say that is ‘Inspiration’… I am sure you did not expect this, specially because I find so many faults in things you do and all I do is keep giving you advices and instructions… well, that’s my birthright, and I believe all daughters do the same… N & N will grow up to do the same with me and I am looking forward to those dialogues… but what I think I will struggle is to be their inspiration, the way you are to me…
Every single time, when I am tired I wonder what have I done, you do so much more and that too so tirelessly… when I am low, I remember your ever-smiling face… when I am crumbling under pressure, I want to emulate your strength… when I feel lost, I recall how you would have seen through the situation… when I see or do wrong, I remember how you always stood for the right… when I struggle to balance time, I wonder how you never missed any small or big event of my life… when I strive to keep family commitments and social connects going, I am reminded of our home bustling with people all the time and you attending to them devotedly… when I am in search of my identity, I am hugely inspired how you, a fiercely independent woman, has a distinct identity of your own… this list can go on and on… there is so much more about you, infact everything about you, that has become a benchmark for me.. that I want to and try to live up to…
You are not just in my thoughts but also in my exploits and actions… when I talk to N & N as a mother myself, or even to the outside world on any point or principle, I find myself echoing you… what you are and the way you have made me, is so deeply ingrained within that I realize I am just a piece cut out of your core… shaped and moulded in your love and warmth… a piece that wants to be everything that its core is…
Yours ever…
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