Travelling 'alone' with kids...
On other occasions, I would have ducked the question or changed the topic… like the other day an elderly relative asked me why did I go on a holiday with kids but without husband.. and I told her “two kids are a handful enough, didn’t want a third one”… she laughed, I laughed, topic ended… but today I was determined to take the topic further and really understand the inhibition and concern this friend had… and to my surprise, there were many….
I say it is perfectly ok for one parent to take a vacation with kids, while the other parent is slogging his/her butt in their workplace… “kids need both parents” is more a life-funda and need not apply to something as transitory as a vacation… and as I said before, if you have a husband like mine, you might be better off with one less kid to manage !
If there are things you want your kids to inculcate, without any objections or for that matter contradictions from your spouse, such few days out with kids is the best time… they are all yours you see :-)
Is it safe to travel ‘alone’ with
kids? Yes absolutely, rather I would say it is not just safe, it’s a lot easier too… seeing a single parent managing a couple of kids, fellow travelers tend to offer help – in having conversations with your kids (while you take a quick nap), in offering you front seats in buses or jumping queues (no rushing, pushing required), in lifting & shifting baggage (sometimes you can use that generosity to checkin some excess baggage under their allowances too)… only advice would be to choose the travel group or tour operator wisely…
Can still understand if you go to Disneyland, or say beach holidays, but don’t the kids get bored on offbeat holidays?
Well, if they do, then they would get bored even if both parents are around… So this question has nothing to do with travelling ‘alone’ with kids… It is really about the comfort of taking kids to not-their-kinds places… I am yet to see Disneyland, I will surely do that some day… but it really depends on us to make the ‘offbeat’ holidays also as interesting… I have done various tours with my kids – in the wilderness, in the hills, long drives, photography tours, treks and so on… just that I kind of balanced the itinerary to include a few things of their interest.. For our recent trip to Iceland, which I personally wanted to do for photographing Northern lights, I got them point and shoot basic cameras (one for each… no sharing and hence no fights!) and they were busy clicking the landscapes… they returned with some exquisite shots which they proudly showed to all their family & friends… these ‘clicked’ memories will remain with them all their life is a plus plus…
Long
drives can get challenging I agree, when they are confined to a small space for
a long time… Some good music (which they have freedom to play as they like),
lots of food (that too junk!), Card games or something alike, and a good
comfortable sleeping (not sitting) arrangement will do the trick.. Now you know
all these things have hardly any dependency on your partner… If you love
driving like me, this is the best arrangement – kids busy with their stuff in
the backseats while you enjoy your ‘me-time’ behind the wheel…Don’t the kids get scared exploring new places just with you??
And why in the world would that be? Scared probably I should be when I see my kids in a mood to conquer the world, and don’t want to get back home.. but that apart, kids adjust to new places, new food, new people very quickly… it is we adults who take time adapting… so if we are bindaas, so will the kids be…. And if we remain skeptical, kids will still be bindaas… trust me on this… scare is not a natural emotion in my view… it has to be ‘injected’ into the kids and it is we who do it in many ways in them… We have been out in extreme weather conditions, trekked in difficult (for kids) terrains, used primitive transport, eaten coarse food… Atleast my kids have not shown this emotion during any of my travels, be it to known places or completely unknown distant destinations… or maybe they have not been asked how they feel travelling ‘alone’ with me, else they surely would have been scared !
Did your kids not make fuss about food during travels??
Yes and No… Both my kids are poles apart when it comes to food habits.. one is a foodie and wants to try everything laid out on table (an upset stomach atleast once during each travel is mandatory !)… the other one thrives on love and air… and I guess I just let them be… I am not the types who look for ‘homely food’ on a holiday or book a ‘room with a kitchenette’… I don’t like to ‘feel at home’ when I am travelling and cooking on a holiday is not what I subscribe to… at the max I have carried ready-to-make-cup-noodles when I am unsure of finding food at an odd hour at an odd place… not eating right or not eating at all during a holiday is ok by me… one kid returns looking thin like a paper, the other looking like a paper weight, but both are a lot happier… :-)
Will they remember these travels
when they grow up? Give them unforgettable experiences and they wont forget… getting them to do a midnight trek in the valleys of Bhandardara, at the end of which they find themselves in midst of trees illuminated by millions of fireflies is an experience they will not forget… But in case of other not-so-exotic travels, lets assume they will not remember, atleast I don’t remember travels I had done in my childhood… but I owe the travel-freak in me to that same childhood when my parents tagged me along everywhere they went, without any inhibitions… my kids are travel-friendly today (touchwood!) and will grow to be travel-freaks like me (I really want them to)… they may forget the experiences they gain now, but these years of travel-grooming will prepare them to live more experiences later… investing in travel in early years has a great ROI…
Don’t they miss their father (or mother as the case may be) while on vacation, especially when they see other families?
Oh yes they do… a lot.. and so they also ensure their parent misses them too… that is why they assimilate as much as they can (on behalf of their missing parent).. to return with a whole lot of experiences and stories to narrate, as if it was all seen together… my kids always return with an agenda of making their father envious by describing all the seen (and add some unseen too!)…
I
have two daughters – 10Y and 7Y… I have been taking vacations ‘alone’ with them
since a couple of years now… and after each such vacation (sometimes even
before!) I am assaulted with the above questions… sometimes I care to answer,
most times I don’t… But to tell the truth, travelling is my passion and I get
this urge to travel every few months… husband, family, friends are not always
available to satiate this never ending urge and so I set out on my own…
thankfully, my kids are a lot like me (or so I believe) and I tag them along
happily…They may feel uneasy and unaided with me, they may feel challenged and unshielded with me… but I still go on, for I believe that they need to get out of their nests to explore the unseen and set out on journeys to discover the infinite… they need to navigate the maps to identify their tiny self on them and experience the unknown for life to happen to them… they need to travel through light and dark to produce shades on their own canvas and see all that exists to dream of the non-existent… they need to wander and meander and get lost first, only then will they be able to seek out and find themselves...
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