An independence with dependence...
I do sincerely hope that many people would be able to resonate with this post of mine… and those who wont, for me, they seem to be enjoying their independence in true sense… over the past few weeks, I have realized that my independence and freedom that I so care about, that I am so bigheaded about, that I cannot for a moment think of letting go… is all DEPENDENT upon certain elements external to me, and not necessarily in my control…
So here I was in a situation where my domestic help had gone on her 3 week annual leave and she unilaterally (and mercilessly!!) decided to extend it by another 3 weeks citing ‘unavoidable circumstances’… there the world came crashing on me… it became impossible to manage work and home together without any help, especially with the two severely nasty kids that I have (well-behaved when with anyone other than their mother!!)… used up all possible resources available to help me in this crisis situation – in-laws (help on demand), parents (proactively helpful), husband (helpless and hopeless always as far as kids are concerned!!)… as these resources exhausted, so did my independence… led to lot of constraints on my movement, my space, my time, my way of life… I honestly didn’t like the feeling much…
My experience might be with my dependence on domestic help, but same is true with our dependence on our parents, spouse, friends, caretakers, our employers/employees as the case maybe… anyday, any of these elements do not work to our requirements, it just creates disorder in our daily set life... So what is the use of this (so called) independence which, in its entirety, is dependent on someone else… On the contrary, I say it weakens a person’s self-reliance…
While I ponder over these thoughts, I am still willing to continue my dependence on external elements for that’s the only way I get my space, freedom and ofcourse time (my blog sees a new post today after a gap of more than a month, you know why!!)… don’t know how to put it – with the return of my help, my dependence is back or my independence is back… whatever it may be, for now, am glad that my independence with dependence is back :-)
So here I was in a situation where my domestic help had gone on her 3 week annual leave and she unilaterally (and mercilessly!!) decided to extend it by another 3 weeks citing ‘unavoidable circumstances’… there the world came crashing on me… it became impossible to manage work and home together without any help, especially with the two severely nasty kids that I have (well-behaved when with anyone other than their mother!!)… used up all possible resources available to help me in this crisis situation – in-laws (help on demand), parents (proactively helpful), husband (helpless and hopeless always as far as kids are concerned!!)… as these resources exhausted, so did my independence… led to lot of constraints on my movement, my space, my time, my way of life… I honestly didn’t like the feeling much…
My experience might be with my dependence on domestic help, but same is true with our dependence on our parents, spouse, friends, caretakers, our employers/employees as the case maybe… anyday, any of these elements do not work to our requirements, it just creates disorder in our daily set life... So what is the use of this (so called) independence which, in its entirety, is dependent on someone else… On the contrary, I say it weakens a person’s self-reliance…
While I ponder over these thoughts, I am still willing to continue my dependence on external elements for that’s the only way I get my space, freedom and ofcourse time (my blog sees a new post today after a gap of more than a month, you know why!!)… don’t know how to put it – with the return of my help, my dependence is back or my independence is back… whatever it may be, for now, am glad that my independence with dependence is back :-)
4 comments
Incredibly written. Very true to our lives is this state of 'inter-dependence' (as i would like to put it). But isnt this what constitutes what is called life?
ReplyDeletewish, you people spend some time in USA and get independent...
ReplyDeleteSir, there is nothing right or wrong about being or not being independent… these are essentially the choices one makes (including the one of moving away from our very own country !!)..
ReplyDeleteand talking of independence in US, you are right in a way, but I still wonder… inspite of having all the support in India (family being the most important one), why do our people think ten times (or thousand times may be) when they are asked to move back to India from US… there is something about US that they are not ok to let go… isn’t that a dependence as well? Give it a thought Sir :-))
definitely this situation arises one or other day . When the feeling of independence exists , next minute the need of dependence dominates. They are inter-dependent .
ReplyDelete