At the fatigued fulcrum of life...
The
morning was set off with a body sprain while doing some household chores, and a
rather disheartening comment ‘your age is catching up’, followed by a frown on
me… such thoughts on ageing are so unwelcome… and well this is not the only
instance, have been hearing such things more often now… like mom asking unbelievingly
‘where is all the glow gone?’, friend saying ‘you looking drained, is all ok?’,
daughter showing concern ‘thak gaye mamma?’, the inquisitive colleague asking
‘is it stress?’… am slowly getting used to these questions I must admit… :-)
Have been thinking, this particular phase of life I am in, and as I see most of my friends are in, is a very exhausting phase… physically demanding and tiring phase… two kids, not physically independent yet, need help to do many of their daily routines still and emotional support as they tread through their rapid growing… and there is a long way to go before they are on their own…. parents are no longer the strong backbone that they used to be, need holding up and looking after, need cheering up and encouragement, tend to use us as their crutch, and rightly so… career path is at some mid-way point, not junior enough to overlook responsibilities, not senior enough to delegate and oversee, but at a level which is a focal point of responsibilities and performance, making work all the more stressful…
Topics with friends and family are no longer about adventures, aspirations, fantasies, indulgences or even silly jokes… conversations are largely about kids and schools, disciplines and constraints, work and money(or lack of it!), day-to-day happenings which don’t necessarily bring those much revered smiles… mindless, inane, dreamy conversations are a rarity…
To add to this, every small and big thing now seems to be governed and determined by factors external to me, be it what I eat and when I eat, the sleeping and the waking times, the modes of entertainment and content in that, what I sing and what I dance to, time (or no time) for hobbies or holidays, where I stay and what I breathe too…
So all the help offered to me, be it an encouraging pep-talk, or offer to share the workload at home or at work, a home-made herbal pack for reducing wrinkles and bringing back glow, or just a warm hug to take off the tiredness... is absolutely relaxing and necessary, helps mind shed its load and settle down, but only temporarily… With no time to read my own mind and listen to my own heart, the damage to self-being is already underway… I conveniently attribute this to the current fatigued fulcrum of life, hoping that the damage is not really permanent and will be reversed as the next phase in life dawns, whenever it does…
Have been thinking, this particular phase of life I am in, and as I see most of my friends are in, is a very exhausting phase… physically demanding and tiring phase… two kids, not physically independent yet, need help to do many of their daily routines still and emotional support as they tread through their rapid growing… and there is a long way to go before they are on their own…. parents are no longer the strong backbone that they used to be, need holding up and looking after, need cheering up and encouragement, tend to use us as their crutch, and rightly so… career path is at some mid-way point, not junior enough to overlook responsibilities, not senior enough to delegate and oversee, but at a level which is a focal point of responsibilities and performance, making work all the more stressful…
Topics with friends and family are no longer about adventures, aspirations, fantasies, indulgences or even silly jokes… conversations are largely about kids and schools, disciplines and constraints, work and money(or lack of it!), day-to-day happenings which don’t necessarily bring those much revered smiles… mindless, inane, dreamy conversations are a rarity…
To add to this, every small and big thing now seems to be governed and determined by factors external to me, be it what I eat and when I eat, the sleeping and the waking times, the modes of entertainment and content in that, what I sing and what I dance to, time (or no time) for hobbies or holidays, where I stay and what I breathe too…
So all the help offered to me, be it an encouraging pep-talk, or offer to share the workload at home or at work, a home-made herbal pack for reducing wrinkles and bringing back glow, or just a warm hug to take off the tiredness... is absolutely relaxing and necessary, helps mind shed its load and settle down, but only temporarily… With no time to read my own mind and listen to my own heart, the damage to self-being is already underway… I conveniently attribute this to the current fatigued fulcrum of life, hoping that the damage is not really permanent and will be reversed as the next phase in life dawns, whenever it does…
1 comments
Those were the Golden days...
ReplyDeletedoesn't help.
And you are not alone in this way of thinking.
Key is in discovering new lands, new horizons