As you turn 7 today...
My dear Nithila,
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| Birthday Girl... |
You complete 7 years today, of your life and of being a part of our
life… The immediate thoughts that come to me every year this day are like ‘time
flies’, ‘didn’t realize when you grew this big’, ‘feels just like yesterday
when you were born’ :-).. and I
know, to this you will say “Ma, 7 years is a long time, even 7 days is a long
time”. Indeed it is… all I would say is Nithila, these 7 long years have not
satiated me of your smiles, of your touch, of your smell, of your warmth, especially when you
tuck urself in my arms and fall asleep…
Every night, you want me next to you when you go to sleep… now its
almost a ritual for you, Niky and me to take a book each to bed and fall asleep
reading… this reading habit is something I hope you keep through your life, it
is widening your imagination, it is improving your expressions, it is fuelling
your inquisitiveness, it is enriching you in many ways… One of the offshoots of
this enrichment is great originality and freshness in your story telling… these
days your favourite pastime is that I give you any3 words, say any three
colours, any three shapes, any three animals or birds, any three words in a
context actually and you spin up quite a meaningful story out of them… you know
at such times, I always stare at your brilliance in awe…
Another offshoot of your
reading is your increasing inquisitiveness and questioning… earlier I would
feel a little inferior to admit that I do not know the answers to the questions
emanating from your ever-sharp mind and would give you some reasoning that my
blurred mind could come up with… but now I have learnt to accept my weaknesses
in front of you and admit my lack of knowledge… we then together “google” to
find the correct answers to your questions like who made the solar system? How
is the TV made? How do we remember somethings, and why do we forget somethings?
Why does a person stop growing after a few years? Who created these colours and
found out how to mix the colours? Why can’t the birds and the animals speak?
Why does each person look different (you mean unique)? When will an earthquake
happen in Bangalore? And the list goes on… at the rate of almost one a day…
But here I also want to
tell you that all questions cannot be ‘googled’ for answers… for example, Why
do people show the middle finger at times, what does it mean? Why don’t you live
with your parents? Why do you and Papa sleep in one room? Why were so many kids
killed in their school? What is a rape? Who is a ‘stranger’? What happens after
a person dies? Who are the monsters?.... I have had to really struggle to put
together a convincing explanation which is not too far away from truth, but
also enough to quench your curiosity… for I know these questions will only keep
increasing as you get more and more exposed to the world through your
surroundings…
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| Happiest moment of the year :) |
While we speak of
exposure, another notable development of this year is that you read the newspaper
headlines as you get ready for school every morning… this I feel is a beginning
to know the world around us, which is not in immediate contact with us… these
newspapers, books, television programs (informative/educational only!) provide
a window to peek into the larger world… all we need to do is find an area of
interest and follow the happenings around it worldover. You continue with your
varied interests, primary ones being tennis & swimming (in sports), drawing
(in arts) and we are trying to give you as much exposure to these through
various channels… We (you, Niky and me) joined an art class a few months ago and
I have to admit, it revealed to me your limitless imagination, your sense of
perspectives, your vivid interpretation, your boundless perseverance… home
these days is full of greeting cards that you make for each one of us, of
papers covered with drawings of sceneries, of notebooks with abstract designs
on last pages, of floor mats full of water colours… the walls and clothes have
been spared though and thank you for that…
This year the theme for
your birthday was also about Art… we went to this place called “Art Blend Café”
with a few of your condo and school friends… you girls spent most of your time
in the Art room with paints, glitter, glue, decorative and art material, to
create some very awesome fairies out of terracotta pots… since this is a streak
you have inbred from me, it will remain my responsibility to nurture this
creative side of you… I hope I live upto it, or more so live the world of
creativity with you :-)
Another responsibility I am taking on me today is to teach you
Marathi… I really didn’t think that learning or not learning Marathi will do
any great amount of difference to you in long run… but the other day when you
told me “mother tongue is mother’s language only and I am the only one who does
not know her mother tongue… didn’t you tell me that you want me to learn
everything that you know and much more than that… then how come I do not know
your language?”, I realized it is my responsibility to teach you my language… I
promise I will do that Nithila… it might not be that very difficult as your
pronunciations have considerably improved over this year, thanks to the Sanskrit
shloka recitations in your school… next year by this time, hopefully, I will be
able to write about some of our conversations in Marathi… :-)
One thing that has
remained constant for you this year is your friends… the friendships have strengthened…
your apartment friends, your school friends, your bus friends, your family
friends all remain as close to you… you cannot do without meeting most of them
everyday… now the phone calls have also started, which according to me, is a
milestone in itself… so phone ringing in late evenings, you running to
pick up the phone, giggles and laughter as you speak to them, plans and ideas
being discussed, all this tells me this is just the beginning :-) There are some family friends we get to meet maybe once a
year, yet they remain your besties… this year we toured some interesting parts
of SriLanka with them during Diwali holidays… we went to Yala wildlife known
for having one of the largest leopard population and then to a sea-side town of
Hikkaduwa… we had some amazing time holidaying with them...
Also another beginning has been of you wanting to make choices for
me, to decide for me, especially what I should wear and should not wear… you
now tell me on my face how dull I look or how ‘funny’ I look sometimes… you
want to choose clothes for me when we go out shopping, you decide what I should
wear when we are to go out together… once when I refused to buy some clothes of
your choice, you had stopped talking to me for almost a day in protest :-) you came around to talk only when
you wanted to negotiate some iPad time with me… :-) this iPad
time is something we negotiate every week.. deal is that the amount of time you
spend running/cycling/swimming or doing any outdoor activity during the week
(except tennis and park play!), you get
iPad for yourself for those many hours on the weekend… then do whatever on it,
no questions asked… deal is working so far, don’t know how long though ! :-)
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As I am writing this
letter to you, I realize that, in the past one year, you may have increased a few
inches in height, gained a few kilos in weight, made a few changes in
handwriting, started reading about a few more subjects, begun eating a little faster
and experienced many such small changes all over… but the most striking part is
that you are learning everything at a phenomenal rate… I had read somewhere
that the rate of learning is the highest in childhood, a rate you will never
achieve again… because more the learning, more the failures and older people
like me do not like to fail… we have huge list of things we have failed at and
do not want to try again… everyone around (including me) make success look very
precious… but you Nithila have been teaching me otherwise… you learn, you
experiment, you explore, and in the process, you experience failures at every
step, yet they don’t inhibit you… you gather yourself and continue to learn and
continue to fail too, hoping someday you will succeed… your real growth and
learning is during these failures only, because once you succeed, you will stop
learning… as a mother who wants to see her child succeed always, I may be
guilty of pushing you too often, of punishing your failures and being an
obstacle in your learning… but today, here, I say Nithila, please do not be
fearful of failures... let us together explore, experiment, learn, fail and
hold each other close throughout…
A very tight hug to you… Much Love
Ma
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