In Pursuit of a Mirage...
There were scores of people all around her…
excessive festivities and extreme noise decibels had engulfed her… she was
dressed in a heavily embroidered blue sari, a wrong choice for the sultry and
scorching weather… droplets of sweat trickled down her brow as she made way
through the neon illuminated street… young boys in the roadside stalls were
trying to attract each passerby to the displays in their outlets… she was
however oblivious to all the distractions… her eyes were focused on that figure
in the distance who was walking hurriedly ahead of her and she tried to keep
pace… walking as fast as she could…
She had seen this figure meandering around
her, as she attempted to make herself part of the gathering and the flowing conversation...
it was their regular community gathering that happened on most festival
evenings with many families coming together… she would always be at the
center-point of this carnival… laughing,
mocking and enlivening… today was however different, way too unusual… she had
initially not wanted to join todays get-together… she had been slogging out at
work, running around with home-chores, being attentive to kids’ essentials,
attending to family exigencies and tiring herself out every single day… longing
for a break, she agreed to join the get-together… and there she was, all
adorned, that sweltering evening…
The evening was quite warm… the seating on
the courtyard lawns and dim lighting around helped keep the ambience cool… her
husband had been towed away by some of his friends and her kids treaded away in
search of their friends… she lowered herself onto a single chair, a little away
from the congregation… in midst of the crowd, she remained to herself… trying
to empty her mind of the day’s happenings and images… one image, however, she
could not take off… that figure which had been following her for the past few
days… wanting to talk to her, come closer to her… she could not see its face,
the figure remained blurred hence… like a hazy shadow…
After being nudged a couple of times, she
tried to pick up a conversation or two, she acknowledged a few compliments on
choice of her sari… she wanted to go back into her oblivion, yet she tried to
be attentive to stories being spewed one after the other… she wanted to escape
from the festivities, yet she returned the festive greetings coming her way… she
felt a sudden silence all around her… as a whiff of warm air blew across her
face, almost whispering something in her ears… she spotted that figure again… there
she sat frozen in her chair… he was right behind her, luring her to some
distant place, away from there… to a quiet place, away from her penal life,
something she had been badly wanting to do… but how did he know? she turned
back to look at him, only to see him walk away, straight out of the door… she
rose up and rushed out to follow him… she saw him ahead, walking at a steady
pace… she made her way hurriedly through the busy streets, never once losing
his sight, yet unable to reach him… at every turn of the road, her heart pounded
harder, with an angst of losing him… but as she crossed each turn, she was relieved
to find him ahead, relieved to find her way to a faraway world…
Just this morning, she had announced at
home her resolve to soon retire to a far-off place… and all she heard was
roaring laughter of her family… this seemed like another of her resolves and
another of her family’s dis-beliefs in her… this family and its laughing
moments had held her back all this while… but today the resolve to go away was
firm…
Droplets of sweat trickled down her brow, her
feet ached, she breathed heavily, her vision blurred, but that destination
wouldn’t come… she continued walking, she continued to follow him, she
continued to dream… dream of those snow covered mountain peaks, of valleys swaying
in blossoms of all kinds of yellows and pinks and reds… dream of clouds forming
musical notes in the bright blue skies and stars glittering and dancing to
those notes by the night… dream of the river and pebbles composing harmonious
tune and together they performing a ballet on that tune…
She danced freely, madly, fervently, till
it seemed like an age pass by… and finally she stopped, she turned back to see
her old world was right there, laughing at her, she had not moved an inch away
from it… unbelievingly, she looked ahead of her… to realize that what she was
chasing, that alluring figure, was only a Mirage…...
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